My Higher Power is John Stamos
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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