My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
