I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
