im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
