Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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