Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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