I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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