Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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