i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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