just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
