Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
