Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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