We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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