Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
