Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
