I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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