My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
