we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
