she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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