Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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