3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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