Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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