That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
