So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
is it fun? or sober?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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