I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize