If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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