we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
