I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
