is your mom at the bar?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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