i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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