So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
