I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
