What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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