Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
