She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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