she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
