Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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