So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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