Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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