I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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