Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
