when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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