worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
