oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
