i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
