You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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