If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
