Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
