dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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