the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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