so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
