I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
