So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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