bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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