The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No more Irish car bombs ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
