New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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