i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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