That's intense
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
