some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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