Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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