ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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