i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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