one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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