I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
