Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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