How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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